Being a professional writer and having worked for Canadian and US clients, I can assure you that writing is much more than the general consensus held by a vast majority of Indian students. I provide writing correction service to IELTS aspirants to help them analyze their weak areas.
If you wish to improve your score in IELTS, you should not miss my writing correction service which I offer pan India and have recently got a few tutoring assignments from other Asian and Middle-East countries.
Students may customize their package as per their needs.
Normally, a writing review comes with thorough feedback and rubrics at a nominal fee of INR 300 for Indian students and USD 5 for overseas students.
Students can also opt for real time collaboration and evaluation using our online whiteboard tool feature.
Remember, these are just samples when the student has just begun the process of writing. Students enroll for my writing correction service for various reasons and not specifically for IELTS. Some want to be a better writer, others want to pass language proficiency exams such as IELTS, TOEFL or PTE. Therefore, instead of merely providing rubrics /feedback for each marking parameter - Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource and Grammatical Range and Accuracy, I also provide them with a content quality checklist, which helps them improve their overall writing skills. However, if the student wants to IELTS, then they get feedback strictly based on the official band descriptors.
Sometimes, students expect a rephrase of their writing to check how a better version of their thought would look like. This is also covered in this service.
Scroll down to the bottom to check the sample PDF!
Sample 1
Although some people put forward the idea that professional practioners, such as engineers and doctors, ought to serve the country they are trained in, others appreciate the freedom to work abroad. In my opinion, I agree with the former opinion as it would apparently benefit both society and economy one belongs to.
According to some, the skilled worker should be restricted to practise in their home country, and I agree.The prominent reason the professionals should be encouraged to stay is that their experience and skills could be used to serve the local community. More the number of skilled workers in societies, stronger is the nation. Without them, the country would lack the experts, and that would eventually slow down the county’s progress. Furthermore, fees and efforts associated with training these professionals could not be recouped if they decide to move out and then contribute to the foreign economy. Brain drain, for instance, to the western countries has considerably divided the world into the developed in west and economically backward in East, which is threatful sign to the existence of the residents from developing
and under-developed countries.
Suggested rephrase
which is threatful sign to the existence of the residents from developing
and under-developed countries.
This could eventually turn out to be red flag for existence of the residents from developing and underdeveloped countries with higher levels of unemployment and crime rates.
On the other hand, why do others believe skilled professionals should be allowed to work in any part of the world? Presently, in the twenty-first century, globalisation has given everyone the choice to work from anywhere. Recent studies have shown that the increase in the number of immigrants to the USA lies in the career growth opportunities the Western world offers. Moving overseas, particularly to the wealthy countries, is looked as a way to personal financial growth among many youngsters. In fact, this is considered an opportunity to explore new cultures and enjoy the comfort that facilities in the developed countires provide.
On the other hand, why do others believe skilled professionals should be allowed to work in any part of the world?
Note that it is not an appropriate place for an interrogative sentence. However if choose to write this way, consider the following:
Now, some of us might wonder why skilled professionals should be free to work in any part of the world given that it has a few downsides. Let us find out/ Let us look at a few ground realities.
In conclusion, people may vary in their opinions, I believe a country stands a chance to progress if the skilled professionals are encouraged to be rooted and serve the motherland.
My overall observations:
The length of the conclusion is shorter than the intro, which is not good.
There may be a few typos.
You tried to include an interrogative sentence as per the previous feedback. However, you could not do justice with the context and positioning of that sentence.
You incorporated inversion, which is not a good idea in Academic English.
There are faulty choice of words.
There are problems with collocations.
What’s next?
Learn collocations
Learn comma splices
Practise writing better thesis statements with relevant keywords from the body paragraphs.
Reviewed by : Surendra Singh on 25/03/2021
Sample 2
There is too much debate on whether consumables or food items should be produced locally or imported from other countries. In my opinion, both the approaches have its own benefits to our environment and economy but I personally believe that local food production and consumption should be promoted.
In era of globalization where no economy can grow without being open to international markets. For instance, Tourism industry in any country can only survive and flourish if it is able to meet its international tourist’s food necessities and for which import of such food items are indispensable. Also there are many food items which are not available or cannot be grown locally, however important for natural diet should be imported. For example- good quality Aloevera, one of the herb people take to treat so many chronic diseases naturally not available locally and people prefer to buy international version of this product.
However, I believe there are many reasons why I believe local production must be encouraged. Firstly, to produce more foods locally will require more people and thereby increased employment and as a result there will improved standard of living. Secondly it allow people to buy things at lower cost and save more because cost would be lower as it is a domestic product. For example, spices locally produced are less costly compared to its imported. Furthermore all these will lead to thriving economy and increased tax revenue.
The bottom line is that, undoubtedly emphasis of any economy should be to produce foods locally and on bigger segment level however some items which are scarce and good in terms of quality in comparison to domestic products should be imported
(279 words)
Edits/comments and suggested rephrase:
There is too much debate on whether consumables or food items should be produced locally or imported from other countries. In my opinion, (both the approaches have its own benefits ) both approaches would have their own pros and cons as far as factors such as- environmental protection and economic growth are concerned to our environment and economy but I personally believe that local food production and consumption should be promoted. Does it have only advantages? Rephrasing like this I am able to make my point clear Good!you placed your thesis-statement here J indicating what you are going to emphasize on in the forthcoming paragraphs.
(In era of globalization where no economy can grow without being open to international markets. For instance, the Tourism industry in any country can only survive and flourish if it is able to meet its international tourist’s food necessities and for which import of such food items are indispensable)Rephrase-In the present era of globalisation, economies cannot grow without being open to international markets. To exemplify, for the tourist industry to grow and flourish, it is imperative that not only the domestic but also the international food preferences should also be taken into account as the international tourism success-graph would govern the overall revenue generated that could, in turn, boost the economy immensely. Also( there are many food items which are not available or cannot be grown locally, however important for natural diet should be imported)Apart from that, there are a few food items that are an essential part of a healthy diet but cannot be grown locally due to non-availability of required soil or resources which makes the idea of import the only alternative/possibility. For example(-) use a comma instead good quality Aloevera, one of the herb people take to treat so many chronic diseases (is) take care of auxiliaries naturally not available locally and people prefer to buy international version of this product.A single main idea is exaggerated to extent that leaves no space to talk about another main issue-environmental protection. Generally,a single idea should follow 1-2 supports and an example if needed.
However,( I believe there are many reasons why I believe) totally redundant!!! local production must be encouraged.(Firstly, to produce more foods locally will require more people and thereby increased employment and as a result there will improved standard of living)On one side,production of more food would lead to increased employment on account of the need for increased manpower which inturn,would improve the standard of living of the people. You seem to have a problem with the use of participles,infinitives and gerunds. Suggested study-infinitives and gerunds. Tip-Don’t use a direct modal auxilliary such as will to anticipate future.(Secondly it allow people to buy things at lower cost and save more because cost would be lower as it is a domestic product)At the same time,it would result in more savings with no change in consumption-patterns as the local products come at a lower price due to low production-cost.Look at the rephrase-the rephrase offers a complex structure with a clear cause/effect relation drawn from the main idea and fix overgeneralisation issue which pop up when you say all local products are cheaper than non-local ones. For example, spices locally produced are (less costly compared to its imported)lare generally less expensive than that of the imported ones. (Furthermore all these will lead to thriving economy and increased tax revenue)This is a major idea and need a thorough support statement.You should include this point in another body paragraph if needed.
The bottom line is that(,)undoubtedly (emphasis of any economy should be to produce foods locally) every economy needs to prioritise the local production of foods that caters to mass-consumption needs over items which are scarce and whose production is difficult ,Also,all those products that are locally available with poor quality should rather be imported to ensure better quality and on bigger segment level however some items which are scarce and good in terms of quality in comparison to domestic products should be imported.
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Band-score-6.0+
My overall observations:
1)You seem to have a problem with infinitives and gerunds.
2)You seem to exaggerate a single idea to an extent that it does not leave enough space to address all points.
3)Use a variety of transitions and not just a handful of learnt expressions such as firstly, secondly, etc to address your subpoints/supports used in justifying the claim.
4)Use complex structures
5)Learn word conversion-noun to verb and vice-versa.
Evaluated and reviewed by-Surendra Singh on 13/08/2019
Sample 3:
It is argued that late adolescents and youths in our society are not helpful towards learning of our older community. While it may be true in cases of some societies, I personally believe that youth can play pivotal role in teaching older people about
Some people feel that youth generally should focus only on their professional and personal commitments and there are hardly anything they can help with their elders and parents. Older in such communities are more dominant, For example, In Rajasthan some village’s teenagers are not allowed to speak also in front of their elders and parents as it is treated as disregard to elders, all the decisions and everything are made by their parents and they have no right to speak, behave and act of their own.
However, modern societies and communities where youth are allowed to express their opinion and completely free to share their thoughts and ideas are growing rapidly. This becomes possible because younger generation are updated with the newer technologies and high graded trainings from their school and colleges and using their dynamic ideas, skills and vibrant thoughts any nation can attain multi folded growth.
For example, every year many big companies like google ,hires fresh talent to upbeat their organisation culture to meet the dynamic, and challenging new requirements and adversities in the new world, be it personal or professional anywhere we need an improved and polymath systems and youths are available with it.
To sum up, new youths should be encouraged and their belief and ideas should be welcomed as it is beneficial for our older communities and to our nation in each and every perspective.
Word count-287
Edits/comments and suggested rephrases:
It is argued that late adolescents and youths in our society are not helpful towards learning of our older community. While it may be true in cases of some societies, I personally believe that youth can play(a) pivotal role in (teaching older people about) imparting knowledge to the elderly masses pertaining to new changes in technology and other areas of developments in the world. Older people may be even our siblings. But,I think you are talking about the older generation. That’s the magic of a collocation-older generation but elderly people/masses J
Some people feel that youth generally should focus only on their professional and personal commitments and there are is hardly anything they can (help with their elders and parents) help their elders and parents with.Older in such communities are more dominant) dominant thinkers For example, In Rajasthan ,some village’s teenagers (are not allowed to speak also) are not even allowed to speak in front of their elders and parents as it is treated as disregard to (elders) try not to use the same noun twice.Either use a pronoun or learn the use of former and latter. It is treated as a disregard to the latter as a result of which,all the decisions and everything are made by their parents and they have no right to speak, behave and act of their own.This is redundant and the same idea is repeated twice.
However, (modern societies and communities where youth are allowed to express their opinion and completely free to share their thoughts and ideas are growing rapidly).Modern societies and communities are growing rapidly where youth are allowed to express their opinion and are completely free to share their thoughts and ideas.Rephrasing this way will certainly help you to put across this complex structure in a straight-forward manner ,thereby eliminating a scope for confusion on the part of the reader.Confusing clause-ideas are growing rapldly.Tip-work on inversion.It might be your major error-pattern. Alternatively,
For example, every year many big companies like google( ,) no comma needed (hires) hire fresh talent to upbeat their organisation culture coporate competition check your word-choice upbeat culture?and that too organisation culture?Tip-learn collocations and work on word-chice.This is an LOC.But,it counts (to meet the dynamic and challenging new requirements and adversities in the new world, be it personal or professional anywhere we need an improved and polymath systems and youths are available with it.)First, check word choice-why use dynamic (adjective)?Did you mean-dynamics?(noun).Challengi
To sum up, new youths there is no plural of youth youngsters should be encouraged and their belief and ideas should be welcomed welcome as it is beneficial for our older communities and to our nation nations as a whole in each and every perspective.Write IELTS responses with a cosmopolitan mindset.Don’t connect yourself with India or any other country.Good wrap-up but don’t overlook at these silly comments.
.............................
Band-score-6+
My overall observations:
1)You seem to use a wide range of vocabulary in your writing but fail to use the right collocations.
2)Fix the problem of inversion.It is a major error-pattern in your writing.
3)Identify redundancy elements in tasks in sample writing (band score-5 or 6) and not an expert user 9.Compare your writing with such samples with respect to this issue-redundancy and repetition of ideas.
4)You write with a local minsdet and often talk about national interests or development.Write with a cosmopolitan mindset instead.
5)Use more complex structures for a higher band-score.
Evaluated and reviewed by: Surendra Singh on 05/07/2018
Sample 3:
Original script(response):
Although the term, gender equality is extremely popular these days, there are people who feel that women should be given equal chance to serve defence services too. I strongly agree with the idea of giving some jobs to women in the army, the navy and the air force but this role should be limited to easy jobs.
There are jobs which require massive physical strength, for example, carrying big machine guns in battlefield. It is the universal truth that strength of women is lower than men's, therefore, women should not able to perform in those jobs. Moreover, women's primary responsibility is to take care of their family andif employed in defence jobs they have to live in remote areas away from their family. Therefore, it is tough to survive in these jobs.
However, there are fixed routine back office jobs too which women can do very well and some jobs where only communication involved, women can evenoutperform men being better eloquent speakers. For example, in Army Headquarters, there are normal office hours and employees take care of accounting and finance issues of the army. In these jobs, women can easily perform well. Furthermore, as per recent study of popular institute it was proved that women are better psychologists than men. Therefore, interrogation jobs like interrogating criminals can be given to women too.
To put in the nutshell, defence services have myriad jobs, some are suitable for everyone and some are men specific. Therefore, jobs which demands physical strength should be given to men only but common easy jobs should be given to women too.
Edits/comments and Suggested rephrases:
(Although the term(, )’gender equality’ is extremely popular these days, there are people who feel that women should be given (an) check your articles equal chance to serve defence services too).The term’gender inequality’ is gaining momentum these days giving acceptance to the idea of women employment in areas such as army or the defence services.The problem in your construction is a mismatch noticed in expressing two given ideas which need to be contradictory in nature because of useof a transition-although.But,no such contradiction is noticed,rather the ideas go hand in hand making the use of ‘although’ irrelevant and redundant. I strongly agree with the idea of giving (some ) redundant jobs to women in the army, the navy and the air force (but this role should be limited to easy jobs.) ,provided the role assigned is not too physically demanding .
There are jobs which require massive physical strength, for example, carrying big machine guns in (a)battlefield. It is (the) a universal truth that (strength of women is lower than men's)the strength of women is generally lower than that of their male counter-parts, which could adversely affect the performance-rate of women if employed in such jobs.therefore, women should not able to perform in those jobs. Moreover, women's primary responsibility is to take care of their (family)immediate families and if employed in defence jobs they have to live in remote areas away from their family.,thus making it tough to survive in these jobs.(Therefore, it is tough to survive in these jobs.)Try to make the sentences complex by using transitions other than therefore,so,etc.
However, there are fixed routine back office jobs too which women can do very well and some jobs where only communication (is) involved, (women can even outperform men being better eloquent speakers)women,being more eloquent speakers seem to outperform men.Look at the rephrase-rephrasing has almost eliminated the flaw of inversion in this sentence.In the absence of a comma and misarrangement of subject/object or adjective clause,it becomes difficult for the reader to follow the text and get references at ease. For example, in Army Headquarters, there are normal office hours and employees take care of accounting and finance(financial)check word-choice issues of the army. In these jobs, women can easily perform well .(Furthermore, as per recent study of popular institute it was proved that women are better psychologists than men. Therefore, interrogation jobs like interrogating criminals can be given (assigned) to women too.)You are not asked your suggestions on where to employ women.The task response becomes a little irrelevant if you flood your writing with too many independent ideas which are outside of the genre or sub-genre (army in this case)without duly addressing and supporting the claim you put forth.
To put in the a nutshell, defence services have myriad jobs, some are suitable for everyone and others (some) are men-specific. (Therefore, jobs which (demands) demand check your SV agreement physical strength should be given to men only but common easy jobs should be given to women too.)Rephrase-As such,it becomes imperative that the jobs which demand much physical strength should merely be assigned to men and other common easy jobs may not be attributed to any specific gender-role.If you look at the rephrase ,you will find that this approach has helped to express my opinion in an unbiased and neutral way.
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Band Score-6.0+
My overall observations:
1)Majority of your structures are short and simple.Make them complex by following transitions other than so,therefore,etc.
2)Take your of redundant facts ,phrases or words.Identify your redundant elements.
3)The organisation of your essays certainly reflects the strength of your writing.But,don’t flood your writing with too many main ideas,leaving less or no space for supporting your ideas.
4)Check your word-choice e.g.given a job or assigned a job,finance or financial issues.
5)Fix the problem of inversion(misarrangement of words).
Evaluated and reviewed by Surendra Singh on 10/07/2018
Sample 4:
Original Script(Response):
Many scientists have predicted that there will be one universal language eventually. This essay agrees that it will have positive ramifications. Firstly, this essay will discuss the merits of having one language and secondly, it will discuss the demerits and then a conclusion will be given at the end.
One language will benefit both and business in many ways. People will be able to communicate better and irrespective of wherever they will travel they don’t have to think of language barrier. Also, they have flexibility to go anywhere to do their job and settle easily. Businesses will become global and have wider consumers acceptability because people generally buy products that are advertised in their native language. Also, since there will be one language, therefore they will not have to spend extra money in creating advertisements in different languages.
On the flip side, it has been criticized for long that local cultures of the nations are getting affected because of people adapting different languages. For example, in India, youth are watching English movies and adapting English lifestyle. In the process, India’s culture is getting ruined. Also, there will be never ending war between powerful economies to make their local language as standard language to become super power. Last but not least there will be unemployment among translators because of one language which everyone will know.
In conclusion, a universal language can be beneficial for businesses and people owing to its facilitation of hassle-free communication. However, it may lead to wiping out of local cultures.
Word-count-253
Many scientists have predicted that there will be one universal language eventually. (This essay agrees that it will have positive ramifications. Firstly, this essay will discuss the merits of having one language and secondly, it will discuss the demerits and then a conclusion will be given at the end)Suggested rephrase-Apparently, a single language world is evolving faster than ever before and the benefits of which are likely to outnumber the repercussions that it might follow.Look at the suggested rephrase.Rephrasing this way,you are directly addressing and clarifying your overall thoughts on the shared topic which makes your thesis-statement more specific and added to the complexity of the sentence.At a closer look,you will notice that I have replaced the word 'ramifications' as the collocation- positive ramifications sounds illogical as ramification is neutral(neither positive nor negative).
(One language will benefit both and business in many ways).Rephrase-The idea of a single language could benefit not only the local businesses but also the masses at large.The rephrase offers a better version of the statement. People will be able to communicate better and (irrespective of wherever they will travel they don’t have to think of language barrier).they will feel free to travel anywhere without any consideration of language barriers which sometimes impacts people’s choice of travel.This could give rise to the idea of mobility in employment which inturn, could help individuals lead their dream lives by settling down in their desired cities across the world.Look at the rephrase-the use of inturn has helped me to structure a complex sentence like this and helped me support my claim-‘it helps individuals’ more vividly.Also, they have flexibility to go anywhere to do their job and settle easily. Businesses will become global and have wider consumers acceptability because it is often seen that people generally buy products that are advertised in their native language. Also, Since, there will be one language, therefore they will not have to spend extra money in creating advertisements in different languages.Remember that since has already a cause/effect function…therefore is not supposed to be used here…as it has the same function.
On the flip side, it has been criticized for long that local cultures of the nations are getting affected (because of people adapting different languages)because of the fact that people are adopting new languages more rapidly than ever before.First,take care of your homophones-adapt or adopt?Second,learn the use of because of and because of the fact.For example,in India, (youth are watching English movies and adapting English lifestyle) youth tend to watch English movies and many of them are inspired by them to an extent that they have even started to adapt to western ideas and lifestyle.(In the process,India’s culture is getting ruined).Such individuals claim that India’s culture is getting ruined in this process.Be specific whether the idea is yours or others.In agree/disagree essay,you should dominate one view –positive or negative,agree or disagree and not both.Also,there will be never ending war between powerful economies to make their local language as the standard language in order to become asuper power.Avoid connectors such as ‘also’ in the beginning of a sentence.Suggested alternatives-needless to say.apart from this,not only this,etc.JLast but not least, (there will be unemployment among translators because of one language which everyone will know)owing to the fact that everyone speaks in the same language,there will be no scope to employ people who could assist in translation.
In conclusion, a universal language can be beneficial for businesses and people (owing to its facilitation of hassle-free communication) as it wouldfacilitate hassle-free communication.What may be written in simple language should not be made complex as it looks awkward when complexity is not born out naturally.However, it may lead to wiping out of local cultures.Good wrap up(overall)!
.Overall Band Score-6.0+
My overall suggestions:
1)Take care of your word-choice. Before choosing a word, consider its collocations as well.
Bonus point-learn collocations and homophones
2)Improve your cohesion skills.
3)Dominate the discussion only in a single area-agree or disagree, positive or negative and not both.
4)Avoid the use of ‘also’ before beginning another main idea.
5)Use could, would or likely to while anticipating future and not will. (I have increased the font of such modals for catchy attention).
Reviewed and evaluated by: Surendra Singh on 12/05/2018
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